Anger

Abandoning the “Should”

Posted by on Dec 2, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Loneliness, Marriage, Parenting | 0 comments

Abandoning the “Should”

I leaned in close with anticipation as my sister whispered to me “the worst name to call anyone”.  As my older sister she held much more street knowledge than I, so I was eager for her wisdom.  I won’t tell you the word she passed on to me that day but I do remember her description of why it was so bad.  The person would feel condemned for something they were powerless to change. Well, if I could add a word to my streetwise sister’s bad word list, I would add the word “SHOULD”.  “Should” implies that there is a spreadsheet way of being – and it compares your reality...

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The Gift of Emotions

Posted by on May 30, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Grief, Loneliness, Uncategorized | 0 comments

It has been said that “emotions buried alive never die”.  If you are like me, you might say “yep, that make sense” but with no real understanding of how this concept is lived out in your own life.  So let’s talk about emotions. Some Christian literature talks about emotions as something to be controlled.  Some language gives the impression that many emotions are meant to be eradicated. I’d like to present an alternative view.  Emotions are a gift from God.  We know that God gives good gifts but I get the mental picture of opening up a box of loneliness on Christmas morning...

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New Year Resolution

Posted by on Jan 1, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Uncategorized | 0 comments

It’s that time again when we make a commitment to do things better in the coming year than we had in the past.  For some that means taking better care of their bodies by eating better or exercising.  For others it is making a commitment to be better organized in terms of time, money or even in keeping the clutter from piling up.  I would do well to pick any or all of those.  However, this year my resolution is to increase three specific things: connection, rest and forgiveness.  Anyone who has failed at past New Year’s resolutions knows that sometimes intentionality is not enough to...

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Is Shoulding All Over Yourself Causing Anxiety, Depression or Anger?

Posted by on Sep 19, 2013 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression | 0 comments

I came downstairs this morning and saw several pairs of shoes by the door, dishes on the counter from the night before and stacks of paper and mail on the counters.  This sight stirred a deep sigh and I said to myself “I really should be better at keeping the house picked up.” Many Christian therapists have been critical of the controversial theorist Albert Ellis, who often used provocative phrases such as “shoulding all over yourself” to describe what people do when they live in bondage to their “should” and “should not” beliefs. However, Ellis’s use of crass statements...

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