Anxiety

Abandoning the “Should”

Posted by on Dec 2, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Loneliness, Marriage, Parenting | 0 comments

Abandoning the “Should”

I leaned in close with anticipation as my sister whispered to me “the worst name to call anyone”.  As my older sister she held much more street knowledge than I, so I was eager for her wisdom.  I won’t tell you the word she passed on to me that day but I do remember her description of why it was so bad.  The person would feel condemned for something they were powerless to change. Well, if I could add a word to my streetwise sister’s bad word list, I would add the word “SHOULD”.  “Should” implies that there is a spreadsheet way of being – and it compares your reality...

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September Is Suicide Prevention Month

Posted by on Sep 9, 2014 in Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Loneliness, Suicide | 0 comments

September is Suicide Prevention month. Sadly, it lands just one short month after the world lost one of our most beloved entertainers, Robin Williams.  Suicide prevention is about education, about encouraging each other to be involved and to ask questions, and mostly suicide prevention is about offering hope. On that note, one of the most helpful websites that I have found is: http://metanoia.org/.  Specifically, the page “If you are thinking about suicide… read this first” http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/. From this website: “Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds...

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Mattering Matters

Posted by on Jul 11, 2014 in Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Loneliness, Marriage, Parenting, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Knowing that we matter to someone else is a need we all share and one that when met produces pleasant emotions.  With the realization that we matter in the life of another person comes the sense that we are valued, loved, known, included and wanted.  Mattering is particularly important if that other person is someone that matters to you. Marcheta P. Evans and Thelma Duffey wrote in a recent Counseling Today article on mattering, “We know we matter not only when our words, needs and opinions are seen as relevant to the other person, but also when they are important and worthy of...

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The Gift of Emotions

Posted by on May 30, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Grief, Loneliness, Uncategorized | 0 comments

It has been said that “emotions buried alive never die”.  If you are like me, you might say “yep, that make sense” but with no real understanding of how this concept is lived out in your own life.  So let’s talk about emotions. Some Christian literature talks about emotions as something to be controlled.  Some language gives the impression that many emotions are meant to be eradicated. I’d like to present an alternative view.  Emotions are a gift from God.  We know that God gives good gifts but I get the mental picture of opening up a box of loneliness on Christmas morning...

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New Year Resolution

Posted by on Jan 1, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Uncategorized | 0 comments

It’s that time again when we make a commitment to do things better in the coming year than we had in the past.  For some that means taking better care of their bodies by eating better or exercising.  For others it is making a commitment to be better organized in terms of time, money or even in keeping the clutter from piling up.  I would do well to pick any or all of those.  However, this year my resolution is to increase three specific things: connection, rest and forgiveness.  Anyone who has failed at past New Year’s resolutions knows that sometimes intentionality is not enough to...

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Is Shoulding All Over Yourself Causing Anxiety, Depression or Anger?

Posted by on Sep 19, 2013 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression | 0 comments

I came downstairs this morning and saw several pairs of shoes by the door, dishes on the counter from the night before and stacks of paper and mail on the counters.  This sight stirred a deep sigh and I said to myself “I really should be better at keeping the house picked up.” Many Christian therapists have been critical of the controversial theorist Albert Ellis, who often used provocative phrases such as “shoulding all over yourself” to describe what people do when they live in bondage to their “should” and “should not” beliefs. However, Ellis’s use of crass statements...

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