Parenting

What’s in your Parent/Child CommunicaTION?

Posted by on Sep 10, 2015 in Emotions, Parenting, Self-Concept | 0 comments

What’s in your Parent/Child CommunicaTION?

When researchers look at the type of communication between parents and children they find that an inordinate amount of communication focuses on two types: … direction and correction.  Studies have videotaped families, charting their communication.  They found the bulk of communication revolves around the parent telling their children what to do and what not to do.  As you are thinking about your home, you may be thinking… ”of course! I have to!”  And to some degree you do.  Children need direction and correction from their parents.  We are shaping their behavior and their...

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Mother’s Day – A Day of Ambivalence

Posted by on May 9, 2015 in Depression, Emotions, Grief, Loneliness, Parenting | 0 comments

Mother’s Day is here again and families are preparing for a day of honoring and doting on their beloved mother.  Many will spend the day eating together and celebrating multiple generations of mothers.  Each represented mother will be showered with accolades for the many roles she has played and the many ways she has loved her children.  However, for some this day feels more like a day of suffering rather than celebrating.  While for some people this day reminds them of what they have – for others this day reminds them of what they have not.  Mother’s Day can be a day of...

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Life Lessons Learned On the Court

Posted by on Mar 26, 2015 in Marriage, Parenting, Self-Concept, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Life Lessons Learned On the Court

I love to watch my daughters play volleyball. Partially, the pride of a parent watching her children develop skills and have those skills tested in a game but also because I see the value of what they are learning about life and relationships.  Although I am relating to volleyball to describe these qualities, the concepts are transferable to most any team sport. 1) You don’t control the world. You can only do your part.  Winning or losing is affected not only by your personal performance but also the performance of your teammates and the other team’s performance.  Focus on your job. ...

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Abandoning the “Should”

Posted by on Dec 2, 2014 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Loneliness, Marriage, Parenting | 0 comments

Abandoning the “Should”

I leaned in close with anticipation as my sister whispered to me “the worst name to call anyone”.  As my older sister she held much more street knowledge than I, so I was eager for her wisdom.  I won’t tell you the word she passed on to me that day but I do remember her description of why it was so bad.  The person would feel condemned for something they were powerless to change. Well, if I could add a word to my streetwise sister’s bad word list, I would add the word “SHOULD”.  “Should” implies that there is a spreadsheet way of being – and it compares your reality...

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Mattering Matters

Posted by on Jul 11, 2014 in Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Loneliness, Marriage, Parenting, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Knowing that we matter to someone else is a need we all share and one that when met produces pleasant emotions.  With the realization that we matter in the life of another person comes the sense that we are valued, loved, known, included and wanted.  Mattering is particularly important if that other person is someone that matters to you. Marcheta P. Evans and Thelma Duffey wrote in a recent Counseling Today article on mattering, “We know we matter not only when our words, needs and opinions are seen as relevant to the other person, but also when they are important and worthy of...

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